I’m Starting to Think I’m Unhireable
I’ll tell you why, but I have to give some background first. For the last 25 years I’ve worked at a small design firm that’s handled some pretty big jobs in the music/film/entertainment fields. It’s offered me a lot of opportunities to explore a lot of different roles: creative direction, project management, illustration, design, web app development, IT services, music production, AI image and video generation pipelines. Always out of necessity, always fluid and adaptable. The landscape has changed drastically in that time, from giant experiential websites for Sony, DreamWorks, and Warner Bros. to social media marketing campaigns aimed at all the social platforms. Swiss army knife. Adapt and overcome.
That came with costs and benefits. The firm was always set up to work remotely, way before the pandemic forced it on everyone. Back then everyone thought it was dope AF. Wow, you work from home, how cool! But working from home required a level of discipline a lot of people did not take into account. Self-motivation, focus, time management. No Lumbergh leaning over the cubicle wall with his coffee mug, asking how those TPS reports are coming along. Hours were long. I regularly worked 12-16 hour days in order to hit tight deadlines, handling multiple roles, roles that would be spread across different departments at larger studios. I’m pretty sure all that sitting contributed to that ruptured L2 disc. I’ve switched to a standing desk since then. It was challenging, and I learned something every day. I’m grateful for that bit because it ingrained a thirst for learning every aspect of design, production, development, and art creation that I could.
The work-from-home aspect also afforded me something I would have never had working long hours at a larger studio. When my daughter was born and my wife was home, I was able to get a lot done after regular work hours (there was no sleep happening anyway), and I was there every day, fully. This continued throughout my daughter’s life. I’d pick her up from day care, hang out, have meals with her. In grammar school she’d hang in my little home studio at my drawing table, doing homework, drawing, picking up my bass. This continued all the way through high school. I think back on the long hours my old man had to work and how little time we got to spend together because of that. And how fortunate I was to spend so much time with my daughter growing up. That part made up for a lot of the shortcomings.
I operate mainly as an independent contractor. If you know, you know. Definite pros and cons on that financially. It was a source of pride in the early days, like hey, independent, self-reliant, look at how badass I am. But that was before I realized a job is a job, even if you love what you do. The hustle is also real. Constantly thinking the next job is the last one, that you’ll never get hired for a new job. Job = stress, I know, I’m not special. Layoffs all over the industry. I know there are a lot of folks who feel how real it is.
I continued to study and research the intersection of art and technology. In 2020 I got heavy into AI, starting with GPT-3, and later DALL-E. I was blown away by OpenAI API Playground and immediately started testing the boundaries of what you could code with it. Taking years of web dev experience to mold and refine scripts in it. It brought back the excitement of the early days of web design and development, when the tools changed every few months, nobody had a rulebook, and you figured it out by building.
It also made the generalist thing start to make sense in a new way. Building an AI image and video pipeline that holds up in real production takes an art director’s eye, an illustrator’s hand, an animator’s sense of motion, a developer’s comfort with code and servers, and a producer’s grip on budgets and deadlines. Those are the same roles I’ve been juggling for 25 years. These tools are collapsing whole departments into smaller teams, and smaller teams need people who understand the whole pipeline.
So pretty diverse work experience and skill set, right? The part that makes me feel unhireable is just that. I know a lot about a lot of different aspects of the industry I’m in. There’s always something new to learn, eternal student and all that, but I’m genuinely competent at all of it. Not a brag. Ask around. Just hard-earned truth. And that’s the problem. Recruiters and HR folks look at my resume and, if it doesn’t get filtered out by their job search criteria due to that diversity, don’t know where to place me. Am I a creative? Am I a techie? WTF is this guy? Oh wait, he does AI stuff... and music? Comics? WTF???? It’s definitely a struggle. I know, I know, I’m not the only one. And I’m still working. I’ve managed to stay consistently employed for the last 30 years without a break. Grateful for this. It was hard earned, no joke, yo.
So all this to say, I think the only path for me is through. Continue expanding, continue learning new technologies, refining my design skills, my art skills, my communication skills, my interpersonal skills, and on and on ’til the break of dawn. If any of this hits with you, take a look at my portfolio at https://mecha9ine.com. Recommend me for a job. Hire me if you need any of my services, full-time or contract. Help me continue to exist as I have, collaborating with cool and interesting people on cool and interesting jobs.
Cheers,
Ari
Los Angeles